Movin Along

Its Thursday 12:36am and I am sitting next to Jen as she continues to add to her already long week of work.   She has been busy the last two weeks trying to manage family, a heavy workload, and of course her treatments.  It’s by no mistake I listed the aforementioned items in the order I did, because if there is one thing I learned about Jen through this current “inconvenience” as she calls is it, is it is just that -an inconvenience.  Even on the days I know she doesn’t feel well and/or is tired she still wears a smile, moving forward, determined to tackle the day’s challenges as they come her way.

 Last week was Jen last treatment of her first cycle.  She used her port for the first time and was surprised by how little it hurt.   As expected we have seen her various counts (platelets, white blood cell, ect.) continue to decrease each week -hand washing just became a family pastimeJ.  The genetic testing results came back and were negative.  Obviously, this is great news for the entire family, but it also makes Jen’s case a little more interesting as to why? – A answer we will most likely never get.  Sunday we attended mass at the nearby neighborhood church and later celebrated our niece’s (Abigail) 4^th birthday at Salty Iguana – this was the perfect place for Jen to get her melted cheese fix.  

This week was Jen’s “off” week - meaning no treatment.  On Wednesday Jen had her monthly sonogram and met with her doctor….drum roll please……We were told that Jen’s treatment appears to be working wonderfully as her tumor site has decreased from  a round 4.5 cm to more of a flat 2.5 cm and her pronounced lymph node resembles that of a swollen one.  In addition, KU did further studies on Jen’s lymph node biopsy and discovered that 80% of the cells were growing, but all of them show no known resistance to treatment – everything appears to heading in the right direction!

Thank you for all the love and support; you are a blessing in our life.  I wish you a safe and joyous holiday weekend.  Goodnight.

Livin the Dream

2 down, 16 more rounds of chemo to go.  I know they said that each round will get harder, I was optimistic until recently.  I am feeling much better from surgery last Tuesday.  In fact, I went to work on Wednesday and had a pretty productive day without any pain medication.  I spent the day editing videos, all I had to do was rest my forearm on my armrest and move my hand with my mouse… click, click, click. 

The following day was chemo.  It was pretty uneventful except my brother-in-law Elvin joined Andrew and Cindy, my mother in law.  The side effects of chemo crept up on my Friday, but I took some advice from a new cancer friend- take the nausea meds.  Up until this point, I wanted to stay tough and keep any unneeded meds out of my body.  Well, I figured since I had a long time left to go, I may as well at least give them a shot despite the warning of fatigue, and of course the possibility of them not working at all.  My solution, take the nausea meds and chase them with coffee. 

Elizabeth, the most curious and insightful 4 year old I know, had a grocery list of questions about my scratches from surgery.  The conversation went a little like this-

Elizabeth- “Mommy, what happened to your neck?”

Me- “I had surgery.”

Elizabeth- “But why do you have those scratches on your neck?”

Me- “They had to cut into my skin to put something inside so I don’t have to be stuck with shots and needles all the time.  Then they sewed me right back up.”

Elizabeth- “And that is why you have that cut?”

Me- “Want to see another?”

Elizabeth- “Yes.  (I show her another cut)  What is that shiny stuff on your cut?”

Me- “It is medical glue.  Only doctors who are in hospitals have medical glue.  It is VERY different then the glue you use to put your work together.  Your glue can hurt someone if you put it in their cut”

Elizabeth- “And only doctors in hospitals have medical glue?”

Me- “Yes.”

Elizabeth- “Can you get some medical glue and I can put it on you to make you feel better?”

Me- “There are a lot of cool thing hospitals have that we cannot have…”
Me- "I'm going to loose my hair."
Elizabeth- (remembering that I cut my hair so I could 'give it to someone without hair') "Is someone going to give you their hair?
Me- "No, I think I may just be bald."
Elizabeth- "I am growing my hair out like Tangled, except my hair is brown.  You can wear my Tangled wig Mommy!"
Me- "Thank you, you are so generous."
Elizabeth- "It will be beautiful... and we will have the same hair."

Elizabeth- “And so you cannot carry Ava because you have glue on your cut?”

Me- “No the cuts hurt a lot, so I just can’t carry heavy things for a while, until the cuts heal more.”

Elizabeth- “I can try to carry her for you.”

Me- “I think Daddy can help.”

For the record, I have been able to pick up Ava and other items over 10 lbs.  It is amazing how much you take for granted being able to carry multiple or heavy items.  I am just glad that I am not the left armed weakling anymore :).  Thank you to everyone who have sent cards, gifts, thoughts and blessings.  I am doing my best to respond to each person personally, please know that I read everything and I truly appreciate everyone who has thought of me over the past several weeks.  I am doing everything in my power to stay productive and positive for my family, friends, home, and work.  I am truly blessed to have such amazing people in my life!!!!

Looking forward, I have chemo this Thursday, but I have next week off.  Since my first biopsy in July, I have been a slacker when it comes to working out.  I am going to use that week to get back on track.  No surgeries, no excuses.  Even walking counts!

Learning the Ropes

Thursday was a big day for me- my first chemo treatment.  I spent the first of my six hours receiving basic fluids and medicines to help my body accept the treatment with ease.  I soon found out that I would need an additional amount of benedryl after my tongue started to swell soon after I was hooked up to the Taxotere.  My chemo nurse immediately pushed a large amount of benedryl through my IV which caused my body to become restless - Andrew says I looked like I was "tweaking."  However, after about fifteen minutes I was soon asleep and don't remember much after that.  Andrew said I slept through the next three hours as the nurses finished administering my treatment.  I woke up about 6:30 pm and was told I could go home.  I remember bits and pieces of the ride home and of the evening.   Over the next few days the nausea set in and the chemo fog slowly lifted.  Over the weekend I just tried to relax and get rest when needed.  One thing I have noticed is I have cravings for certain foods, currently my food of choice is anything with melted cheese - nachos, mac & cheese, cheese dips, etc.

Monday I received word that my lymph node biopsy came back positive for cancer cells.  It doesn't change my plan of treatment at the moment, just means I may need additional surgeries and radiation down the road.  Just a reminder of how blessed I am to find this lump when I did - REMEMBER YOUR SELF-EXAMS!!!!

Today I started to feel like my old "pre-chemo" self again.  I was scheduled for my port implant at 5:30 this morning.  The port is a bottle cap shape device with a catheter that sits under my skin on my chest and is inserted into one of the large veins above my heart.  This will be used instead of  IVs for chemo, lab test, and any possible blood transfusions.  The total surgery took about 1 1/2 hrs and has left me really sore with two 1.5 inch incision on my chest and neck.  I have some limited mobility with right arms and I am not suppose to lift anything over 10 lbs for the next 2 week - try explaining that to a beautiful 22 lb little princess who doesn't talk yet.  On a happy note, if things progress as they should, today marks my last surgery for a while :).

Me and my port-
(my surgeon want above the collar bone and used a vein in my neck since there were not any good ones in my chest to use)

 

The Kick Off

I have some catching up to do…

First and Foremost- 

If anyone gets anything from this blog, self exams are key.  My mammogram was normal, and I was not pushed hard to get an ultrasound by my doctor given I had just finished breastfeeding, my age, lack of family history, and overall health.  None the less, I was not comfortable until I got a definite answer.  From what I have learned, if I sat on this for a few more months, we could be looking at stage 4 versus stage 2.

Last week flew by, and so did the small window of opportunity to send out invites to my daughter’s first birthday party.  Luckily we have fantastic family and friends who were able to celebrate the special occasion.  The weather was beautiful and we were able to play outside and enjoy the company.  Ava did a bang up job plowing through her birthday cake- so much that we skipped the ‘baby wipe clean up’ and went for a baby bath in the kitchen sink.  Little person, BIG personality.  I love that little girl!

My sweet Ava on her 1st birthday!

I spent most of Monday performing lab rat functions.  The day started with meeting the geneticist to discuss genetic testing- the purpose of the tests and decisions my doctors and I would need to make once the results came back from the labs.  Then we met with the surgeon to go over surgical options and next steps.  Then, I had an ultrasound of a lymph node that felt enlarged.  Unfortunately, the ‘felt enlarged’ was confirmed as enlarged by the ultrasound (a biopsy was scheduled for later in the week).  I spent the next hour of my day being injected with radioactive liquid and chugging 900 ml of pure yuck (a.k.a.  vanilla shake) for the rest of my scans – MRI, CT, and Bone.   

Since Locks of Love will not take hair from donors receiving chemotherapy, I had to cut my hair as soon as possible.  Luckily, the wonderful lady who has cut my hair over the past 10 years had a spot open.  She made the chop, fixed the rest pretty, and I was on my way.  

My hair cut experience-


 

Today was Ava’s official 1^st birthday – Happy Birthday princess and special thanks to grandpa Barchers for our birthday dinner, it was delish!   I started my morning with a needle biopsy of my enlarged lymph node, and I am pretty sore tonight. I should have those results back Friday.  The remainder of the day was spent discussing the results of my scans from Monday, receiving my first dose of Herceptin, and going over the details of my treatment.   I was thankful to hear that all my scans came back normal (besides the suspicious lymph node).  However, I was shocked to hear that my doctor wanted me to start my first treatment of Chemo tomorrow.  My chemotherapy was originally scheduled to start next week, but since the discovery of my enlarged lymph node, and the type of cancer I have is considered aggressive/fast growing, they are taking no chances with letting it sit longer without intervention. I can’t argue with that! Over the next six months I will have six cycles of chemo (3 weeks on and 1 week off).  I will continue to take my Herceptin with the chemo and after for an additional 6 months.  The nice thing about the Herceptin is it doesn’t have the infamous side effects of chemotherapy.  If all goes as planned, and the cancer responds well to the treatment, I will be set to have a bilateral mastectomy in February. It has been a lot to take in over the last few weeks, but I have many things to be thankful for. 

Fun facts of the day-

• I went from taking 1 multi vitamin to roughly 9 medications per day
• Based on math, my cancer went from 0 (non-existent) to 1.4 cm in only 2-3 months
• It takes 10 inches of hair to donate to locks of love (see website for other requirements)
• Though totally not worth the inconvenience, breast cancer is a great way to get someone else to pay for a boob job (haha :))

Creating the Plan

Well, first and foremost I want to thank everyone again for the love and support you have sent our way.  Today I met with one of the most respected medical oncologist in our region.  I am feeling truly blessed and comforted to know I have the best team on my side.  What I have I learned is my breast cancer is considered more aggressive and therefore more aggressive treatments are needed.  Over the next week I will begin to have more test; MRI, blood, bone, genetic.  These will help determine if the cancer has spread and what my future risk of recurrence will be.  In addition,  I will soon have a port installed, this will assist in the delivery of my live saving cocktails(a.k.a Chemo) over the next 4-6 months- hey it beats getting stuck with a needle every time :).  Once the Chemo is complete the aforementioned test will help my team and I make the next decision....... possibly more/different chemo, type of surgery, radiation etc.   The irony in all this - for the last 3 years I have been growing my hair out so I could donate the minimum of 10 inches to locks of love, and now I will soon lose all of it......who would have thought? 

The Diagnosis

Jen- 8/1/12

As of a month ago, I was normal.  Just enjoying the freedom of drying up after breast feeding for 10 months, until I noticed a lump on my breast in the shower.  I thought for sure the lump had something to do with breastfeeding, but the hypochondriac inside said to go get it checked out for peace of mind. The following week I went to visit my OBGYN, we agreed that an ultrasound would be the next steps, and I was lucky to get an appointment that same day.  When the tech looked around, she didn't say much, just that the Radiologist would be in to take a look and talk to me.  The radiologist was concerned about the edges of the lump because they did not have defined borders, the lack of 'squish factor,' and other variables.   He recommended doing a mammogram to see if that could tell him any other information about the lump.  One mammogram led to two (both came back normal), then the Radiologist recommended I get a biopsy of the lump to ensure that is was nor cancer.

Later that week, Andrew and I went to see a general surgeon, who gave me a couple biopsy options.  We choose to do the more invasive option (excisional biopsy), just to ensure that 100% was removed and I wouldn't have to worry about it turning into something more later on in life.  At that time, I was confident that we would find out it was left over tissue and a few follow up ultrasounds would be needed over the course of a year.

The following Tuesday, I had my first real surgery ever.  It was kind of creepy, but I made it.  We were supposed to get the pathology report back within 48 hours of surgery.  Thursday came and went, no results.  When I called Friday, the nurse told me that the doctor would be calling me.  I found that odd, but was not sure if that was their procedure or something bad was about to be announced.  Friday at 6 pm, we received a phone call from the surgeon.  Breast Cancer.