Light at the End of the Tunnel

Have you ever ran into a friend or acquaintance who asks, “how is it going?” and you have had an epic day on the on the scale of terrible?  Instead of updating them on all the things that went wrong, you smile and say, “I’m doing great” then immediately change the subject.  That happened a lot during my last cycle.

I started cycle 4 of 6 with a port infection.  To treat that, I had to go to KU Med every day for 4-5 hours to get an IV of vincomyacin for 14 days.  Yes, that included weekends.  After my first treatment, I broke out into hives all over my body.  Instead of changing my medication, the nurses slowed the IV drip from a 1 hour IV to 2 hours.  The rest of the 4-5 hours were consumed by premeds, waiting room time, and nurse taking turns trying to get a good IV in my veins (we could not use my port since it was infected).  Apparently, I have small veins that blow easily (event in the middle of an IV- ouch!!!) coupled with the harsh medicines.  Once, I went in for vinco and warned the nurse that I was a ‘hard stick’ (that is my way of saying, I’m out of veins, if you are not a pro, please get someone who is), her response was, “oh, it could not be as bad as the person who was stuck 6 times by 4 different nurses.”  My response was, “that was me.”  On day 13 of vinco, I say goodbye and had surgery to have my port removed.  This means that I no longer need to wear bandages at the base of my neck to cover my port line that was trying to poke through the skin.  Needless to say, between the Benadryl, vinco, and chemo, those 2 weeks were a challenge and I am happy that it is done.

This was the day I got stuck 6 times for 1 IV- ouch!
(I am pointing to the bandage that already came off)

When I met with my doctor last Wednesday, the remainder of my plan of treatment changed.  I had 2 cycles left (2 sets of 3 treatments), instead of taking 6 more treatments, my doctor ordered 2 ‘helluva’ treatments, basically combining 3 treatments into 1.  This will reduce the amount of times I need to get stuck to take chemo in my arm vein- taking chemo through an arm IV is also damaging to the veins and dangerous since my veins blow in the middle of IV’s, harming the tissue.  Some of the veins in my arms are have turned different colors and I have thrombosis (blood clots in veins) in my arms, which is painful.  It will also help minimize the long term effects of the steroids and chemo.  I won’t find out the results from the P10 test for a bit longer.  So far, I do have a lot of hair left on my head (it is just really thin and probably needs a cut- but not looking like the creepy skeleton from Tales of the Crypt), it was supposed to fall out after my 3^rd cycle, but it is still here.  During my conversation with my doctor, she looked at me with a serious look and said, “your hair WILL fall out.”  My response was, “sounds good.”

I did get a bittersweet 'gift' of an additional week off from chemo.  I have been ill with a runny nose and sore throat for the past 9 days, my lab results came back with numbers that would not qualify for me to take chemo today.  So, my doctor changed some meds and added another to fight the congestion and get me as healthy as possible before I take the ‘helluva’ chemo next Monday.  This is the first time I have had 2 off weeks in a row and I am looking forward to getting some things done in preparation for the crazy holidays.        

Again, thank YOU for all the prayers and support.  I have had help from friends and family along the way, I am so grateful for everything.  I have heard that people change after having cancer (and probably other life changing events), I don’t think that is necessarily true.  It depends on the person and their willingness to let go of control and accept God’s plan for you.  When I spent 2 weeks at the cancer center, I was surrounded by cancer patients and their families every day.  This is my inconvenience, but for some, this is their life, or end of life.  One Saturday morning as I stood in line at the elevator I talked to a patient (I normally keep to myself when I am there).  She said she has had 56 cycles (I have 6) and she was planning to get as much as she can get, that is when I realized she was terminal.  On the way out of a couple chemo treatments, I saw a mom with a 9 month old baby boy with a port installed on the side of his head behind his ear.  Sitting in the waiting room for treatment, surrounded by bald heads and sick people with masks covering their mouths, you are saddened because life can be so tragic.  So I’m not going to give the ‘ life every day to its fullest’ speech, I really don’t believe in it.  For me, that would be irresponsible J.  Just know that things could always be worse.  There are some things we can control, some we cannot, and it is important to know the difference between the two.  No matter what, you have choices.  Don’t spend any time complaining about what you cannot control, all you can do is change your attitude about it and focus on the important things in life.  I have not mastered that, but it is something to work towards. 

"It's Complicated"

My 3^rd cycle of chemo is now over and I am in my ‘off week’ until Monday when I begin cycle 4 of 6 cycles total given everything continues to go well.  I have officially hit my ½ mark of chemo (yay!).   Chemo is compounded and I am really the feeling side effects.  No longer am I just tired and nauseous the days following chemo, I am exhausted (staying up past 8pm is a challenge) and nauseous days 1-6 after chemo. My first 2 cycles were on Thursday or Friday each week.  There is no such thing as recovering from chemo over the weekend- chasing kids, running up and down the stairs, weekend activities (trying to keep life normal for the kids),  etc.  I started doing my chemo on Mondays so I could recover at work with my laptop and drawers full of nausea friendly foods and endless ice water.  To date, I have continued my normal workload and schedule at work.   Starting last week I began to take Thursdays off for rest.  On my first Thursday off, I slept until 2:00pm,  and it was amazing.  As a ‘narcoleptic wife,’ I am very lucky that Andrew is a Tony Danza plus when it comes to being super dad, husband, employee, home maker, yard warrior, and Betty Crocker just to name a few roles he plays. 

I had a doctors appointment Wednesday.  It started with a labs, an sonogram, and then the appointment.  The good news…… the sonogram showed NO abnormal lymph nodes, meaning to the eye they look cancer free.  As for where the cancer mass that was in my breast, there is no verdict.  Sounds odd, and the reason is because after the excisional biopsy (removed the mass but not clear margins around the mass where cancer could have lived as well- so different from a lumpectomy), the place where the mass used to occupy filled with fluid, which is part of the healing process.  The fluid goes away over time, but is still present making it hard to see much of anything.  I will know more after my next ultrasound, after my next cycle.  As for my labs, my numbers continue to decrease.  My platelets have dropped to a very low level, which may explain my increasing fatigue.  The doctor recommended that I start working out to help me build energy naturally.  As a side note, I have gained about 10 lbs since I started chemo, so it may help with slowing the weight gain (mostly) induced by water retention and my new found steroid addiction.  My eyes have become watery a side effect of the Taxotere(chemo), so I get to take yet another steroid in the form of eye drops 2 time per day to reduce my chances of developing scar tissue in my tear ducts which would leave me with “dry eyes” after the treatment is done.   The last,  but most important information that we received while at my doctors appointment is that within the last 4 weeks, hard evidence has been validated to support that there is a P10 mutation that 30% of HER2+ breast cancer patients have that makes the very important drug  Herceptin ineffective.  Herceptin is a drug that I get through an IV with chemo that, in short, blocks the cancer cells from multiplying.  That means that we will not be trying to kill cancer cells with chemo as they multiply and travel to other places in my body.  The chemo kills the active cancer cells, the Herceptin keeps them from not multiplying, and through the natural life cycle of a cell, they die over time anyways. So what this means to me?  If I have this P10 mutation, the cancer is multiplying while we are trying to kill the cancer cells and I have been taking a drug that has serious side effects for no reason.  This study that my doctor discussed with Andrew and I basically said that with this P10 mutation, there is a high chance that I would go into remission for some or several years (even having a double mastectomy), and the cancer come back later somewhere else because it was never 100% eradicated.  To me, this is all very complex and with chemo brain, pictures and repetition helps understand it all.  To determine if I have this P10 mutation, my doctor is having tumor tissue, that was removed in July, sent to labs to have tests run to see if the P10 mutation exists.  If it does, the good news is that there are other drugs that can be administered with hereceptin that have proven to work (sigh of relief).    

Several people have asked me about what chemo, so we took some pictures to show you all what it is all about.  They are located on the link below if you'd like to see.  If you click on an actual picture, I enclosed some commentary about what is occurring in the picture.  

http://tcancersurvivor.shutterfly.com/pictures OR-

This is the port 'needle'-


All the gauze is called a 'dresssing,' it keeps me from getting infections-


The chemo nurses must wear this while administering my type of chemo-


And this is what I do while taking chemo-

 

Thursday I noticed that my port was bruised and the surrounding area was red.  When I woke up Friday morning, the entire area was red, swollen, and painful.  Early Friday morning I dropped off the kids and went to my doctors office.  From there, I had an ultrasound of the area to rule out a blood clot and identify any pockets of infection that they can biopsy.  The end result was a Radiologist’s recommendation to remove the port.  Instead my Surgeon decided to give me an antibiotic through an IV for 7 days starting Friday (today).   We went over the symptoms to look for in case the IV was ineffective and I needed surgery prior to my follow up appointment Monday.  My hope is that the IV works great and no surgery is necessary, though there is a strong possibility that I may still have to do surgery early next week.

Staying positive is key to healing and overall attitude, but the reality is still there.  The drugs and chemo take a toll on the body.  My nail beds hurt when I try to pick stickers off household items (thank you children:)). I cannot drink coffee, milk,  soda, and I cannot have my beloved ice cream…..all of which come at a very expensive cost lasting a couple days and it totally not worth it.  My Neulasta shot rocks my skeletal system to the point I can hardly sit, stand, or lay in one position for more then 20 minutes.  It hurts to go up or down stairs, walk, carry heavy items, etc. This lasts from day 3-5 after the shot is administered.   I love that shot for the white blood cells, so bring it.  Prior to this ‘inconvenience,’ I was on month 6 of Insanity and one of the best shapes of my post-baby life.  Since then I have gained weight, my cheeks are puffy from chemo, and have no time or energy to work out.  My clothes don’t fit and I refuse to bust out the maternity or get new clothes.  My hair is still falling out slowly, and I awake everyday  waiting for the big  clumps to fallout.  There is no anxiety about it, at this point it is a rite of passage, I earned the bald head, even if it is  just in time for winter.  I tell myself, this is all temporary, it will all go away and I can go back to being super mom, loving and equal wife, friend who calls back, FB posting, home improvement partner in crime, health maniac workout junkie, Barchers kids paparazzi again. 

In final, congratulations to my brother Jimmy and his wife Jenny (the new Jennifer Ziegler) on their marriage last weekend in the beautiful Florida Keys.  Thanks to a team of Skype professionals (you know who you are), I got to see their wedding from my computer via Skype since I was unable to attend.  I have gotten to see some pictures…..… man, I wish I could have been there.  I am pretty sad I was unable to attend, but with the Neulasta shot last week, the risk of infections from travel, and the distance to a medical facility if anything were to go awry, was a risk I couldn’t take.  At the end of the day, the Ziegler family gained a perfect addition to the family and my brother is happy ever after… I know my mom would have LOVED her.

Thank you ALL for the many prayers and support.  I am at a loss of words when I try to describe how amazing people are, even people I did not know very well prior to my diagnosis.  God has blessed me in so many ways, now I have to figure out what he wants me to do with the challenges he has placed in my hands.  Have a great next 4 weeks.

Think Pink- Becuase This Really Stinks :)

It’s October, breast cancer awareness month, and as one might expect this month hits a lot closer to home than ever before.  For those of you who make contributions, whether that be time or money, to the many cancer foundations I want you to know you are making a difference and my story is proof of that. Early on in my diagnosis I was told that had my particular breast occurred prior to 2004 my chances of reoccurrence would be high with a low survival rate.  However, with the advances in research and medications I am blessed with a positive prognosis, and for that I will be forever grateful to all of you.  As a reminder it is never too early or too late to start self-breast exams if you do not already perform them on a monthly already.  Below is a link that will show you how to perform a breast exam-  http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/types/self_exam/bse_steps

The day after my last chemo treatment of cycle 2 (each cycle is 3 chemo treatments, followed by a week off, then the next cycle begins), I received my Neulasta shot in my stomach.  The nurses jokingly call this the $20k shot because of its high cost. The purpose of this shot is to inject a man-made protein that stimulates bone marrow to produce white blood cells.  Those white blood cells boost immunities to protect me from infections since chemo reduces white blood cell count.  I spent my last ‘off week’ sick, and I have to say that this week was much better.  The only down side to this $20k shot is bone and joint pain, I have now validated that my high school athletics will demand payment in my 70s and 80s.  I felt like my body had aged about 60 years for about 3 days, making it painful to walk up and down the stairs and to lift myself up from the chair or ground.  I continue to gain weight and lose hair -the glamorous side effects of the many other drugs I take.  Andrew jokes that now I can experience how some men feel as they get older. 

I did go to the doctors last week because my port line was red and looked infected.  As a reminder, a port is a little object that is surgically installed right under the collar bone, and is connected by a catheter -I call it the ‘line’ because it sticks out of my skin to a nearby vein).  Despite the discomfort, I love my port because it protects my veins from scar tissue and makes it easy for clinicians to draw blood for labs and administer chemo.  When I had surgery to install my port, my surgeon told me that they couldn’t find a good vein in my chest, so they had to run the ‘line’ over my collar bone up to a vein in my neck(it is not common to have to install that way, but it was the best option).  That thin area of skin over my collar bone become irritated, so I went to the doctors to have it checked out.  Long story short I earned myself a new daily assignment of cleaning and applying prescription ointment  to the area and topping it off with a gauze strip twice a day.  The gauze strip on my neck is a pretty hot accessory  , and I love making stories up about bar fights and sun roofs when people ask what happened one the elevator at work.   Good news is I think it is starting to look better with the chance (if you are squeamish skip to the next paragraph) of the line coming through my skin lessening each day. If that happens they will just administer chemo through a vein until I can get into another surgery for new port placement- meaning  they will not have to stop treatment- yay! . 

My port sticks out of my skin!!-

 

This week I had my monthly meeting with my oncologist - as I always do at the end of each cycle.   She informed me that my body is still responding “very well” to the treatment and in regards to the tumor in my breast it continues to shrink.  Of course, I asked if there was a chance I could be ending my treatments sooner than expected, but that was answered with a smile and “that’s not typical procedure” – hey at least I tried.  

I am looking forward to the weekend to spend time with family before the start of cycle 3.  Again, I appreciate everyone’s support and encouragement through this process.  I am blessed to have such amazing friends and family. 

Rolling with the changes...

Everyone has a friend, relative, or someone they know who has cancer.  To them, it is a characteristic of that someone until they either die, or the cancer goes into remission.  One thing I have learned is that each person and their cancer are so very different.  “They” say that you will feel the effects of chemo on certain days, “they” say that you will lose your hair during or after cycle n, “they” say that certain anti-nausea medications are God’s gift to cancer patients… and all I can do is smile and laugh, because no amount of research and planning can help me know what to expect so I can be prepared. 

For my second cycle, I moved chemo to Fridays because I wanted to have a good Saturday, since day 3, 4, and 5 post chemo are nauseating and make me exhausted.  And of course, once I started my second cycle, my nausea and fatigue moved to day 1,2,3, and 4.  That said, I am considering moving chemo to earlier in the week next cycle. My doctor said that there is no reason that I should be feeling nauseous, however, after 6 weeks of feeling nauseous after chemo, I am begging for new medications.  The next step is to try a series of anti-nausea medications versus 1 every x hours.  This ups the amount of medications per day to well over 12-13, but who is counting?

I have begun to experience the infamous “metal” taste when I eat certain foods.  I now pack plastic utensils and peppermints in my purse a.k.a. medicine cabinet.  In addition to my changing taste buds, my emotions have also been affected.  The medicines make me “hormonal” – I think it is the steroids.  Andrew jokes that if I start working out I may be able to make the transition to professional bodybuilding or WWE (that’s wrestling I was informed)J!   Most of my days end with me going to bed much earlier than I am use to, it’s a fight to stay up past 8 some nights.  That said I must say Thank you to my awesome husband who has been by my side, put up with my ever changing moods, and has carried the load when needed. 

Dealing with all the hair loss in the shower was taking too much time, so I cut my hair into a “pixie” style haircut.  Elizabeth keeps telling me that I have a boy haircut, and I remind her that Tinkerbell and I have matching haircuts.  She argues that Tinkerbell has a bun on the top of her head. Disney needs to get their story straight because technically Tinkerbell has a couple different haircuts, so any help on that end would be nice Disney.  Andrew and I did pick out a wig last week.  I have to say, it is not uncomfortable, keeps my head warm, and Elizabeth really likes how normal I look.  Personally, I do not mind the short or no hair, wearing hats, or trying out different scarves (they are ‘in’ right now, right?).  Either way, how often in your life do you get to wear any kind of hair you want and get to go ‘over the top’ with accessories?  Why not have a little fun with it? 

This is about how much hair I lost each time I took a shower.  I think I spent more time trying to collect it before goin gdown the drain then actually showering!!

 

 

The vacuum took a beating as well :(-

 

 

My thinning hair-

 

 

 

PS. I am giving a shout out to my friend Patty at Brian Joseph’s.  She did a great job with my wig, and for those of you knowing someone recently diagnosed, she has a formula that, if applied before and during treatment, saves your eyelashes and eyebrows- which does not help me, but I’m all about sharing the knowledge.

This week will be my last treatment for Cycle #2 – then I have a week off….YIPPEEE!  I am hoping that this week off will be a little healthier then the last, but any version of less nausea sounds energizing.  Again, I want to thank everyone one of you for your encouragement, blessings, cards, warm dinners, gift cards…the list goes on.  Every day is a challenge, but with all your love and support you make this battle a little bit easier.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

Movin Along

Its Thursday 12:36am and I am sitting next to Jen as she continues to add to her already long week of work.   She has been busy the last two weeks trying to manage family, a heavy workload, and of course her treatments.  It’s by no mistake I listed the aforementioned items in the order I did, because if there is one thing I learned about Jen through this current “inconvenience” as she calls is it, is it is just that -an inconvenience.  Even on the days I know she doesn’t feel well and/or is tired she still wears a smile, moving forward, determined to tackle the day’s challenges as they come her way.

 Last week was Jen last treatment of her first cycle.  She used her port for the first time and was surprised by how little it hurt.   As expected we have seen her various counts (platelets, white blood cell, ect.) continue to decrease each week -hand washing just became a family pastimeJ.  The genetic testing results came back and were negative.  Obviously, this is great news for the entire family, but it also makes Jen’s case a little more interesting as to why? – A answer we will most likely never get.  Sunday we attended mass at the nearby neighborhood church and later celebrated our niece’s (Abigail) 4^th birthday at Salty Iguana – this was the perfect place for Jen to get her melted cheese fix.  

This week was Jen’s “off” week - meaning no treatment.  On Wednesday Jen had her monthly sonogram and met with her doctor….drum roll please……We were told that Jen’s treatment appears to be working wonderfully as her tumor site has decreased from  a round 4.5 cm to more of a flat 2.5 cm and her pronounced lymph node resembles that of a swollen one.  In addition, KU did further studies on Jen’s lymph node biopsy and discovered that 80% of the cells were growing, but all of them show no known resistance to treatment – everything appears to heading in the right direction!

Thank you for all the love and support; you are a blessing in our life.  I wish you a safe and joyous holiday weekend.  Goodnight.

Livin the Dream

2 down, 16 more rounds of chemo to go.  I know they said that each round will get harder, I was optimistic until recently.  I am feeling much better from surgery last Tuesday.  In fact, I went to work on Wednesday and had a pretty productive day without any pain medication.  I spent the day editing videos, all I had to do was rest my forearm on my armrest and move my hand with my mouse… click, click, click. 

The following day was chemo.  It was pretty uneventful except my brother-in-law Elvin joined Andrew and Cindy, my mother in law.  The side effects of chemo crept up on my Friday, but I took some advice from a new cancer friend- take the nausea meds.  Up until this point, I wanted to stay tough and keep any unneeded meds out of my body.  Well, I figured since I had a long time left to go, I may as well at least give them a shot despite the warning of fatigue, and of course the possibility of them not working at all.  My solution, take the nausea meds and chase them with coffee. 

Elizabeth, the most curious and insightful 4 year old I know, had a grocery list of questions about my scratches from surgery.  The conversation went a little like this-

Elizabeth- “Mommy, what happened to your neck?”

Me- “I had surgery.”

Elizabeth- “But why do you have those scratches on your neck?”

Me- “They had to cut into my skin to put something inside so I don’t have to be stuck with shots and needles all the time.  Then they sewed me right back up.”

Elizabeth- “And that is why you have that cut?”

Me- “Want to see another?”

Elizabeth- “Yes.  (I show her another cut)  What is that shiny stuff on your cut?”

Me- “It is medical glue.  Only doctors who are in hospitals have medical glue.  It is VERY different then the glue you use to put your work together.  Your glue can hurt someone if you put it in their cut”

Elizabeth- “And only doctors in hospitals have medical glue?”

Me- “Yes.”

Elizabeth- “Can you get some medical glue and I can put it on you to make you feel better?”

Me- “There are a lot of cool thing hospitals have that we cannot have…”
Me- "I'm going to loose my hair."
Elizabeth- (remembering that I cut my hair so I could 'give it to someone without hair') "Is someone going to give you their hair?
Me- "No, I think I may just be bald."
Elizabeth- "I am growing my hair out like Tangled, except my hair is brown.  You can wear my Tangled wig Mommy!"
Me- "Thank you, you are so generous."
Elizabeth- "It will be beautiful... and we will have the same hair."

Elizabeth- “And so you cannot carry Ava because you have glue on your cut?”

Me- “No the cuts hurt a lot, so I just can’t carry heavy things for a while, until the cuts heal more.”

Elizabeth- “I can try to carry her for you.”

Me- “I think Daddy can help.”

For the record, I have been able to pick up Ava and other items over 10 lbs.  It is amazing how much you take for granted being able to carry multiple or heavy items.  I am just glad that I am not the left armed weakling anymore :).  Thank you to everyone who have sent cards, gifts, thoughts and blessings.  I am doing my best to respond to each person personally, please know that I read everything and I truly appreciate everyone who has thought of me over the past several weeks.  I am doing everything in my power to stay productive and positive for my family, friends, home, and work.  I am truly blessed to have such amazing people in my life!!!!

Looking forward, I have chemo this Thursday, but I have next week off.  Since my first biopsy in July, I have been a slacker when it comes to working out.  I am going to use that week to get back on track.  No surgeries, no excuses.  Even walking counts!

Learning the Ropes

Thursday was a big day for me- my first chemo treatment.  I spent the first of my six hours receiving basic fluids and medicines to help my body accept the treatment with ease.  I soon found out that I would need an additional amount of benedryl after my tongue started to swell soon after I was hooked up to the Taxotere.  My chemo nurse immediately pushed a large amount of benedryl through my IV which caused my body to become restless - Andrew says I looked like I was "tweaking."  However, after about fifteen minutes I was soon asleep and don't remember much after that.  Andrew said I slept through the next three hours as the nurses finished administering my treatment.  I woke up about 6:30 pm and was told I could go home.  I remember bits and pieces of the ride home and of the evening.   Over the next few days the nausea set in and the chemo fog slowly lifted.  Over the weekend I just tried to relax and get rest when needed.  One thing I have noticed is I have cravings for certain foods, currently my food of choice is anything with melted cheese - nachos, mac & cheese, cheese dips, etc.

Monday I received word that my lymph node biopsy came back positive for cancer cells.  It doesn't change my plan of treatment at the moment, just means I may need additional surgeries and radiation down the road.  Just a reminder of how blessed I am to find this lump when I did - REMEMBER YOUR SELF-EXAMS!!!!

Today I started to feel like my old "pre-chemo" self again.  I was scheduled for my port implant at 5:30 this morning.  The port is a bottle cap shape device with a catheter that sits under my skin on my chest and is inserted into one of the large veins above my heart.  This will be used instead of  IVs for chemo, lab test, and any possible blood transfusions.  The total surgery took about 1 1/2 hrs and has left me really sore with two 1.5 inch incision on my chest and neck.  I have some limited mobility with right arms and I am not suppose to lift anything over 10 lbs for the next 2 week - try explaining that to a beautiful 22 lb little princess who doesn't talk yet.  On a happy note, if things progress as they should, today marks my last surgery for a while :).

Me and my port-
(my surgeon want above the collar bone and used a vein in my neck since there were not any good ones in my chest to use)

 

The Kick Off

I have some catching up to do…

First and Foremost- 

If anyone gets anything from this blog, self exams are key.  My mammogram was normal, and I was not pushed hard to get an ultrasound by my doctor given I had just finished breastfeeding, my age, lack of family history, and overall health.  None the less, I was not comfortable until I got a definite answer.  From what I have learned, if I sat on this for a few more months, we could be looking at stage 4 versus stage 2.

Last week flew by, and so did the small window of opportunity to send out invites to my daughter’s first birthday party.  Luckily we have fantastic family and friends who were able to celebrate the special occasion.  The weather was beautiful and we were able to play outside and enjoy the company.  Ava did a bang up job plowing through her birthday cake- so much that we skipped the ‘baby wipe clean up’ and went for a baby bath in the kitchen sink.  Little person, BIG personality.  I love that little girl!

My sweet Ava on her 1st birthday!

I spent most of Monday performing lab rat functions.  The day started with meeting the geneticist to discuss genetic testing- the purpose of the tests and decisions my doctors and I would need to make once the results came back from the labs.  Then we met with the surgeon to go over surgical options and next steps.  Then, I had an ultrasound of a lymph node that felt enlarged.  Unfortunately, the ‘felt enlarged’ was confirmed as enlarged by the ultrasound (a biopsy was scheduled for later in the week).  I spent the next hour of my day being injected with radioactive liquid and chugging 900 ml of pure yuck (a.k.a.  vanilla shake) for the rest of my scans – MRI, CT, and Bone.   

Since Locks of Love will not take hair from donors receiving chemotherapy, I had to cut my hair as soon as possible.  Luckily, the wonderful lady who has cut my hair over the past 10 years had a spot open.  She made the chop, fixed the rest pretty, and I was on my way.  

My hair cut experience-


 

Today was Ava’s official 1^st birthday – Happy Birthday princess and special thanks to grandpa Barchers for our birthday dinner, it was delish!   I started my morning with a needle biopsy of my enlarged lymph node, and I am pretty sore tonight. I should have those results back Friday.  The remainder of the day was spent discussing the results of my scans from Monday, receiving my first dose of Herceptin, and going over the details of my treatment.   I was thankful to hear that all my scans came back normal (besides the suspicious lymph node).  However, I was shocked to hear that my doctor wanted me to start my first treatment of Chemo tomorrow.  My chemotherapy was originally scheduled to start next week, but since the discovery of my enlarged lymph node, and the type of cancer I have is considered aggressive/fast growing, they are taking no chances with letting it sit longer without intervention. I can’t argue with that! Over the next six months I will have six cycles of chemo (3 weeks on and 1 week off).  I will continue to take my Herceptin with the chemo and after for an additional 6 months.  The nice thing about the Herceptin is it doesn’t have the infamous side effects of chemotherapy.  If all goes as planned, and the cancer responds well to the treatment, I will be set to have a bilateral mastectomy in February. It has been a lot to take in over the last few weeks, but I have many things to be thankful for. 

Fun facts of the day-

• I went from taking 1 multi vitamin to roughly 9 medications per day
• Based on math, my cancer went from 0 (non-existent) to 1.4 cm in only 2-3 months
• It takes 10 inches of hair to donate to locks of love (see website for other requirements)
• Though totally not worth the inconvenience, breast cancer is a great way to get someone else to pay for a boob job (haha :))

Creating the Plan

Well, first and foremost I want to thank everyone again for the love and support you have sent our way.  Today I met with one of the most respected medical oncologist in our region.  I am feeling truly blessed and comforted to know I have the best team on my side.  What I have I learned is my breast cancer is considered more aggressive and therefore more aggressive treatments are needed.  Over the next week I will begin to have more test; MRI, blood, bone, genetic.  These will help determine if the cancer has spread and what my future risk of recurrence will be.  In addition,  I will soon have a port installed, this will assist in the delivery of my live saving cocktails(a.k.a Chemo) over the next 4-6 months- hey it beats getting stuck with a needle every time :).  Once the Chemo is complete the aforementioned test will help my team and I make the next decision....... possibly more/different chemo, type of surgery, radiation etc.   The irony in all this - for the last 3 years I have been growing my hair out so I could donate the minimum of 10 inches to locks of love, and now I will soon lose all of it......who would have thought? 

The Diagnosis

Jen- 8/1/12

As of a month ago, I was normal.  Just enjoying the freedom of drying up after breast feeding for 10 months, until I noticed a lump on my breast in the shower.  I thought for sure the lump had something to do with breastfeeding, but the hypochondriac inside said to go get it checked out for peace of mind. The following week I went to visit my OBGYN, we agreed that an ultrasound would be the next steps, and I was lucky to get an appointment that same day.  When the tech looked around, she didn't say much, just that the Radiologist would be in to take a look and talk to me.  The radiologist was concerned about the edges of the lump because they did not have defined borders, the lack of 'squish factor,' and other variables.   He recommended doing a mammogram to see if that could tell him any other information about the lump.  One mammogram led to two (both came back normal), then the Radiologist recommended I get a biopsy of the lump to ensure that is was nor cancer.

Later that week, Andrew and I went to see a general surgeon, who gave me a couple biopsy options.  We choose to do the more invasive option (excisional biopsy), just to ensure that 100% was removed and I wouldn't have to worry about it turning into something more later on in life.  At that time, I was confident that we would find out it was left over tissue and a few follow up ultrasounds would be needed over the course of a year.

The following Tuesday, I had my first real surgery ever.  It was kind of creepy, but I made it.  We were supposed to get the pathology report back within 48 hours of surgery.  Thursday came and went, no results.  When I called Friday, the nurse told me that the doctor would be calling me.  I found that odd, but was not sure if that was their procedure or something bad was about to be announced.  Friday at 6 pm, we received a phone call from the surgeon.  Breast Cancer.